Dave's a nice bloke, don't get me wrong But, well, the truth of it is that he's a bit of a nong From morning to night he's continually ingesting Poisons that his body is vehemently detesting Nourishing food that his body is craving Is something that he brusquely aside is waving Instead, he unerringly goes for alcohol and nicotine Two things which make his body so very unclean And once he starts with a schooner and smoke He can't seem to stop, he keeps going for broke He may think he's tough, that he's indestructible But the tobacco companies just think that he's gullible My advice to Dave, not that I'm one to give it It's only that I want him his life to go on and live it Is to gather his smokes and stubbies and throw them away And start enjoying himself each and every wonderful day Alessandra Liverani, 2003