If you believe that black is white Do you know that you'd never be right If you believe that short is long Do you know that you'd always be wrong
If you believe that left is right You might give yourself a great big fright If you believe that front is back You might give yourself a heart attack
If you believe that in is in fact out You'd spend all your life living in doubt If you believe that up is really down You'd probably wear a puzzled frown
If you believe with all of your heart That there is only one way you could possibly start The day, with a lungful of tobacco smoke Do you know you'd be part of a very sad joke?