I've got a bit of sinus my throat's a little bit dry My lungs are a little bit wheezy but I'm not going to cry All my teeth have been stained yellow, my fingers and nails too Some say it's the cigarettes I smoke they say that they accrue
I think that that is an outright lie no, cigarettes do me no harm They are my very best friends, to me they have lots of charm Do you want me to explain it all the benefits that fags give to me Well, where do you want me to start? I'll tell you the lot, from A to B
Firstly, there is the advantage of having to buy them everyday It puts order in your life and makes sure that you won't stray Then, of course, each time you smoke one your withdrawal pangs disappear Not for very long, mind you but you'll have another, have no fear
Now cigarette butts, that's a tough one I can't seem to find an advantage there Maybe just the satisfaction of ridding myself of them getting those nasty things out of my hair So when they bury me in the ground and place my gravestone up above I'd like for them to put on it, I died for my cigarette friends, with love