Let's get these plates out there, I said to the staff We'll get this party of 45 fed, then I heard a remark A stripper's coming tonight, 'A stripper' I smiled Don't get too excited, Jesse, he's not your style
Disappointed, I went back to provisioning guests Finally we got the lot of ‘em fed and sat back for a rest Then the boss came up to me, flustered, with a very sad face The stripper was too shy to strip to his jocks in a public place
The maid of honour's distraught and the hen’s most upset They're all going nuts, can you do it instead Oh no I can't strip, I can barely dance Of course you can, just give yourself a chance
With all eyes on me, I gave it some consideration My boss urged me on, the girls will show their appreciation OK, I conceded and they followed me down to the bar This would be the best laugh they’d ever had, by far
Lady Gaga’s song “Just Dance” started playing Although shaking, I heard myself saying “Are you ready for a show? ”, not knowing what I’d do next The girls’ glum mood lifted instantly, then they all begged
“Take it off, take it off” as my heart pounded so loud My foot started tapping, I’d play up to this crowd Leapt onto the table as adrenaline surged through my veins Swayed my hips and backside, I had found my domain
In stripping mood, I seductively unbuttoned my chef’s jacket Heaven knows why these hens were making such a racket I flung it into the crazed crowd, and started slowly unzipping My pants, which I threw to the hen, she was tripping
Up and down I paraded in my undies and socks Then strutted up to the hen, sizzling hot I struck a sexy pose as the lights came back The hens riotously cheering, they were rapt
You saved the night, declared bride-to-be Louise No dramas, I replied, only glad I could please And best of all after having averted all their bitchin’ I dIdn’t have to help with cleaning up the kitchen!